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Shadow Takes a Break
Derrik Sobodash - August 24, 1997

Shadow's Summary of the Past Week

Okay, to begin with, from RPGe feedback alone, I get about 63 messages per day. I attached an average intelligence message below (ask Thermopyle if you think I made it up).

"Hi, I've been a fan of RPGe fo a while now and I wanted to know why you quit the FFVe translation, there hasn't been an update in 9 days! Anyway, when you finish it, is there any way you can help square translate FF7 any faster? Thanks, keep up the great work." Now that makes up 50% of my email. The next 26% goes to you suck dick mails. An example is below (I've seen it so many times maybe it has a format on some site [type game you want translated here].

"You asshole!!! You never answered my mail! I want to know why you didn't explain to me how to translate [any rpg name here]. I want you to make a table of this for me and give me everything I need or I'll bomb your ass off!!! Everyone on the internet will hate you so much you'll never show your face again."

Thankfully, the last 25% of my mail comes from other RPGe members and my freinds (real life people). That's the only reason I'm partly sane.

I have not seen the sun since April. Not a joke. I'm holed up in my house busting my hump on games that see above, I'm told suck. Ain't it cute. Well as you heard, I'm 15. Every now and then it helps maintain sanity if you see the sun and talk to people but working 24/7 on RPGe all day long doesn't permit this. That gets to be a problem. Which do I value more, my computer or my personal life. I think I made the right choice.

I DID NOT quit RPGe. I said I was thinking about quitting and have decided to quit but to take a leave of absence. I need to get outside. There's other things I want to do (I'm sure MOOGLEZZ was flapping his lips in the wind about that) but I'm not getting into that in this message. I don't think translating should be the top priority in my life.

Unfortunatly, the scene won't allow me to be a human. I have to work all day so I can be bashed to hell or else I'll be bashed to hell (that made no sense but it seems to be the theory). I'm in a "damned if you do damned if you don't" situation. I can't remain sane, I already kicked the shit out of a family member who told me what I'm doing with my life sucked (I'm really losing it).

I have had no preparation in my life for handling the kind of "miniature hell" being the RPGe leader generates. In my opinion, it is called IMPOSSIBLE to;

  • Manage one of the most successful groups on the internet.
  • Maintain health and a personal life off the computer.
  • Keep sane and convince myself what I'm doing is worthwhile.
Therefore it's not anything I can handle.

I need some time off from translating however, I plan to come back at half speed soon. For the time being, I have pulled my email from the page. I will not ever handle that email again!! Before my hotmail account was shut down (it seems 25mb in 10 hours isin't allowed), I had some nice people mail me and I listed them on the page. Also, the guy who owns http://www.maguss.com/ offered to put us up there and give me an email with a filter if we needed it. I'm thinking of taking him up on it (not absolutely sure yet).

For anyone who mailed me one of those examples above, I want you to know RPGe is *NOT* a commercial enterprise. It's a bunch of people with some free time who translate games for fun. Since we don't charge for these, don't complain, if you don't like it just don't use it. All bugs are not garunteed fixed, sorry but shit happens. I started this as a fun group but somehow along the way it gained the idea of an actual buisness. In a buisness you make money. Only time will tell what happens with this thing I started and I hope everything works out for the best. Maybe I opened some people's eye's with this and mayebe not. I just want everyone to know all of what is going on.

----------------------== Shadow ==---------------------- | Shadow's Realm - http://shadow.home.ml.org/ | | RPGe Main Page - http://rpge.home.ml.org/ | | | | Emulation is a dream quickly being turned | | into a nightmare. | --------------------------------------------------------

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